Thursday 29 December 2011

Title Mode


In statistics, the mode is the value that occurs most frequently in a data set, I don’t teach Maths and even I know that but can I analyse my film viewing habits in terms of the mode of the words used in their titles? I’ll give it a go. As part of my movie challenge 2011 I’ve watched over 365 films this year, nearly three thousand words make up their titles. The longest title was; Legend Of The Guardians: The Owls Of Ga'Hoole, whilst the shortest was Thor or Husk or Amer or JCVD etc... But what words appear most in the titles I’ve watched this year?

Blood/Bloody - 12 appearances ... no surprises here for a horror fan, from Satan’s Blood to Baron Blood and Baby Blood my cinematic year has been awash with claret

Kill/Killer - 12 appearances ... there’s both an ideal place to do it in my list as well as a quiet place to do it in my list, the red queen does it seven times, it happens to Bill twice but my favourite might just be a list of who to do it to

House - 6 appearances ... of the dead, in the woods, even on the edge of the park, I’ve watched a lot of films about simple abodes in 2011, thankfully party was not amongst them

Gialli ... Three Of The Worst


I got into watching Gialli during 2010 after watching Profondo Rosso on the big screen at a local horror film festival and haven’t looked back since. Why giallo? Because who doesn’t like blood, boobs and black gloves? I used my 2011 movie challenge as an excuse to educate myself about this genre further by watching as many a giallo film as I could. I soon came to learn that the genre is an absolute minefield with the viewer as likely to find an outstanding example of cinema as they are an absolute shocker on a blind watch (the titles of the films don’t help either, I mean you’d expect a film called ‘The Iguana With The Tongue Of Fire’ to be awesome wouldn’t you?). If you’re interested here are three of the worst first watches of Giallo that I’ve had this year;

Seven Deaths In The Cat’s Eye (1973) - a vampire / giallo crossover that throws a murderous pussycat into the already confused plot for fun. Thank the maker that the idea of crossing Giallo with Hammer horror didn’t catch on because this does not work on any level. A film that I can’t give spoilers for as I genuinely didn’t understand it.



Delirium: Photo Of Gioia (1987) - One of Bava Junior’s low points for me, this film relies on poor quality nudity and weird imagery to entertain and fails hard. I’m still scratching my head trying to understand what it all meant ... people with the heads of flies, people with eyeballs instead of heads and killer dogs – it’s not as good as it sounds folks!



Seven Blood Stained Orchids (1972) - a complete misfire from Lenzi, the silver half moon that links a series of killings is more tired than roadkill. Dead cats offend, the identity of the killer is predictable and the lead actor Sabato is unconvincing. 


Gialli ... Three Of The Best

I got into watching Gialli during 2010 after watching Profondo Rosso on the big screen at a local horror film festival and haven’t looked back since. Why giallo? Because who doesn’t like blood, boobs and black gloves? I used my 2011 movie challenge as an excuse to educate myself about this genre further by watching as many a giallo film as I could. I soon came to learn that the genre is an absolute minefield with the viewer as likely to find an outstanding example of cinema as they are an absolute shocker on a blind watch (the titles of the films don’t help either, I mean you’d expect a film called ‘The Iguana With The Tongue Of Fire’ to be awesome wouldn’t you?). If you’re interested here are three of the best first watches of Giallo that I’ve had this year;

What Have You Done To Solange? (1972) - any giallo that features Fabio Testi gains extra points for me but I wasn’t prepared for how good Dallamano’s sleazy giallo is, for me easily the best I’ve seen outside Argento’s work. Solange grabs you early on and keeps you riveted throughout and the big reveal at the end actually makes sense, a rare boast for films in this genre.



The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (1972) - a film that starts with a scary kid and then weaves an intricate plot throwing in some memorable dream sequences and ends with multiple twists. The film is darkly funny whilst retaining an honest terror and it’s got Barbara Bouchet in ;)



Amer (2009) - one of the best three gialli I’ve watched this year is two years old and comes from Belgium? This is a stunning homage to the genre which will not be to everyone’s taste, it’s a Marmite film. Gorgeously filmed, for me it captures the essence of what a good giallo should be, more about the sights, sounds and colours than the plot, it’s an assault on the senses and is a genuinely terrifying experience. 


The Less Than Magnificent Seven


Not all of the 365 plus films that I’ve watched this year have been worthy of my time, in fact to put it bluntly more than a few have been the cinematic equivalent of a steaming turd. 



So without further ado here are the less than magnificent seven, seven movies that need to go to jail for stealing my precious time this year;
1.  Bloodstained Romance (2009) - ever loved someone so much you have to butcher their friends and duct tape them to a bed? Childishly filmed from a first person perspective and horribly acted, stay away folks!



2. House Of The Dead (2003) - a film with Jurgen Prochnow in can’t be that bad can it? YES! Uwe Boll’s terrible take on a video game is bad with a capital ‘B’. If you feel like watching this do yourself a favour and just watch someone play an hour and a half of the video game instead.



3. Year One (2009) - if you liked this movie then you must have the intellectual capacity of a three year old, even the lovely Olivia Wilde couldn’t save it



4. BreadCrumbs (2011) - some fairytales are true and some are made into shite films. I had to force myself to complete watching this stinker over three sittings. Bottom of the pile acting in a barely understandable tale with so many ripped off motifs.



5. Don’t Go In The Woods (1980) - I still can’t believe this slasher made the Video Nasty list in the UK ... it’s SO not scary! Ineptly shot Wildman in the woods horror that bores way more than it scares.



6. What A Girl Wants (2003) - I still can’t believe that I watched this movie aimed at teenage girls, I think I was drunk. This must be the film that Colin Firth leaves off his resume out of embarrassment. 



7. Robot Holocaust (1986) - a tedious post apocalyptic film with possibly the worst special effects I’ve ever seen


The Great Movie Challenge of 2011


On the 1st of January this year I made a resolution for the New Year ... to watch 365 movies in 2011 of which 100 must be first time watches, i.e. films I’d not seen before. Who was to blame for this idea?  Podcasting’s Brock (one of the hosts of the excellent But I Digress... podcast which can be found at http://butidigresspodcast.com/)
 
 

... he mentioned in a forum post on the boards of www.swactionnews.com that every year he aimed to see one hundred new films a year. I thought I could match Brock and add an additional target of watching a film a day ... I mean how hard could that be?
Well, the good news is that I met my target but with two and a half days left I’m not going to let you in on my final total as I still hope to increase it further. What I do want to do is post a series of small reveals to fill you in on what I’ve enjoyed and despised on my journey to the magic 365 and beyond.